I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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