i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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