I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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