What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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