u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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