Are we in a gay sports bar?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
