No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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