Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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