The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
