Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
