I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
