so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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