I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
