Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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