Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
