I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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