Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
