Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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