He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
