I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
