So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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