im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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