i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Two words: blizzard sex
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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