I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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