Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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