This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
