I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
