I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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