It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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