I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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