I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize