so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
