your room smells of hookers.
And success
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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