then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
