then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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