Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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