MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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