Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
