Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
