He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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