I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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