I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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