apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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