Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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