Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
