I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
