Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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