I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
