Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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