im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
A+ Viking dick
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
