Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
