Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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