You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
