And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
