hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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