i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
