I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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