i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize