I cockslap morals
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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