oh god the rape fog is back!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
