Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
