I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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