Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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