Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They took my balls.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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