You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
