thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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