just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
