We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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